Beyond the Flight

11/16/18- Came back from seeing my sister in Florida 2 days ago, here are some low-key highlights


In the airport on the way back home.
One of several encouraging "you got this!" pics I text her. She texts me her versions too. It's part ongoing joke, part "for real tho, sis. You got this" sincerity.


Sahsha's poster still rolled up in the closet. I held it down with their Funko pop figures so that I could take this picture- r.i.p. Stan Lee

When the air conditioning was too much I borrowed my sister's hoodie that says, "Leave the gun. Take the Cannoli." Famous line from "The Godfather", one of her favorite films.

Her customized LGBTQ tarot cards, based on my most recent star spread reading, a pretty positive one this time.


Their cat Selene who sometimes purred and sometimes hissed at me. Que puedo hacer 😽



My 2014 painting of Georgia O'Keefe's red poppy painting that I eventually gave to my sister. This was from a painting workshop I went to when La Casa Azul bookstore was still around.


"The Melting Pot"-A restaurant where you cook your own food in the center of your table where there's a hotplate.


My sister's cute typewriter pillow 

She's going to send me something she's already proofread for me to do, to see how well I do. Afterwards she might even send me her latest story and pay me. We're aiming to start our own publishing/editing business together and don't exactly know where/how to begin. But we're determined to keep pushing with this dream of ours.
Iliana, someone I went to high school with, has been making these live videos lately and her last one addressed the value of consistency and showing up even when it isn't easy, acknowledging that she doesn't always want to herself, but makes the effort to do so.

Iliana is someone I was never close with, but facebook reunites so many of us. Not that we're so tight nowadays but we've probably chatted more in the past 2 months than we did in all our time in high school.

Here's a fun fact- she was the girl James Sheffield-Dewees thought I was for a brief nanosecond on our first day of school. He patted my shoulder from behind and waved hello when I turned around. Then he saw that I wasn't who he thought I was, apologized, and kept walking. I remember thinking to myself, "Aw too bad, he's kinda cute" lol

Here's a not fun-at-all fact- James actually just passed away a couple days ago from pancreatic cancer.

I found this out in the airport on my way back home from seeing my sister. And I half expect us former school mates to find out about each other's passings in our 70's, or 80's, not in our early 40's.

When I saw Kia's facebook post that talked about his passing, I screamed WHAT?! to myself.

But he was so kind!
and he's too young!

I felt indignant along with my shock and tears. But I already know. My brain and logic already know. Death doesn't care about how kind or young you are. It doesn't care how rich, famous, healthy, talented, or anything you are.

Sometimes despite all that I'm blessed with in life I'll still say, oh god just take me already, I can't with this anymore. But when I'm on a plane 30,000 feet in the air, strapped in and stripped of all my on-ground familiarities, feeling the turbulence and face to face with the possibility of a crash, I tell God that no, I'm not ready to go yet! I have kids! But I already know. Death doesn't care if you have kids or not either. Ain't a damn thing that'll give us a pass so far.
I found some of James' music on YouTube when deejay gravy posted a memorial and mentioned his group, 'Sight Beyond Light'. I remember James being a big hip hop fan but never heard any of his own music. I really like "Tables Turn" with T.K. Lawrence. In it, he raps: I got a feelin, stronger than religion I’m swimmin’ in the ocean and my peoples keep me floatin’, (not sure what he says here, something about 'hope and all possibilities'. If you know, please let me know) Please, the word "if", it don’t even exist in my vocabulary, so f-ck table turnin’, I’m happy where I am, peace to my peoples, all across the land You said it James, f-ck table turning and envying everyone else. I hear his verses and am glad to learn if anything, he was happy with his life. Because yeah, life is precious, and life is fleeting.

https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/brooklyn-ny/james-sheffield-dewees-8072005

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